Do I want to blog? Honestly, I’m not sure.

Why? Because I don’t see how people can possibly be interested in what I ate for breakfast or if my cat got wet food this morning.

But then I realize that it is not always what you say but how you say it that matters. Very deep, I know. Try to follow me with this wacky idea.

Version 1:
My cat didn’t get wet food this morning.
I know, totally awesome, right. Who wouldn’t want to know that.

Version 2:
I got up this morning and almost snapped my cat’s spinal cord. She decided to play Totally Invisible Carpet Cat when I swung my legs off the bed. It’s her favorite game in the morning. She pretends like she is a part of the carpet until I put my foot down and drag myself (half asleep still and slightly reminiscent of Quasimodo in my movements) out of bed. 

I am none too precise with foot placement at this point as I am lucky to have any control of motor functions before the shower water has worked its’ magic. Once my foot touches fur, it is ‘game on’ for her. She proceeds to belt out the loudest and most ear drum jarring noise that has the same effect on my tender ears as would someone shoving rusty nails in and out repeatedly until my head explodes from the pain.

This happens, but at the same time, she has decided to defend herself from the Evil Foot from The Land of  Bed with every bit of claw, tooth and anger that she has stored in her tiny body. Effective, though incredibly painful for yours truly. As her cat poop laden claws pierce my tender foot bottom, I can’t help but wonder how far I could punt her if she didn’t have such a stranglehold on my flesh.

After I untangle her teeth from what is left of my pinkie toe, I place her ‘gently’ out of my path so I can proceed to the lavatory before ‘accidents’ happen. As I stumble through the door, she decides to play a little game with my legs. If you watch doggie agility trials, you are familiar with the concept I am about to share. As I move my legs apart for each step, a hole is created through which she must dart. This process works really well for the doggies on TV because the poles they are dodging are planted in the ground and not stumbling to the bathroom.

Unfortunately for kitty, I am having trouble keeping an even pace due to my half awake state and freshly mangled foot. As I go to take the last step into my bathroom, kitty misjudges the next step of the foot and gets a big toe to the left eye. This unleashes the sounds and feelings that my ears and feet experienced only moments before and the blood flows again. In an effort to assess the damage, I bend down to grab her, she slips through my hands, I overbalance due to the inability to put weight on the even more freshly mangled foot and go crashing to the floor.

So, my cat didn’t get wet food this morning.
Can you blame me?

Me at a glance……

Current Position: Director of Business Development for Rock, Paper, Scissors

Values: Hard work, honesty and a sense of humor

Dislikes: Spiders and people that lie, steal or cheat

Life Goals: To travel extensively, learn as much as I can about life and how it is experienced by other cultures and creeds and to laugh as much as possible in the process

Hobbies: reading, working in the dirt, skiing, painting and writing. I love any excuse to get outside as well as any excuse to make things. It doesn’t matter what I get to make. I just love looking at the finished product and knowing that it would not have existed without my imagination and hard work.

Philosophy: I try to keep a sense of humor about all things in life as it makes every situation more enjoyable. I am only human so there are occasional slips :).